As I sit here typing this in the Notes on my phone, with my son (OMG I have a SON!) who is asleep on my chest; and it’s just been two weeks since we’ve met him! I know there are a million and one things I should be doing, but in this moment time can stand still, and chores can wait.
This is the moment I dreamt of for so long. We truly got the child we were meant to raise.
That saying was said to us so many times during our long wait. I thought “yeah, right…whatever…” It irritated me every time I heard it. Those 10 simple words made into one very true sentence.
Our wait was a hard one. We had complete radio silence from the very beginning. I would email in to get our monthly updates; we would be out to a few expectant moms each month. But as those expectant moms’ due dates came and went, our hopes slowly got leveled because we never got “that call.”
We are people who like control. We like to have a plan, and with adoption that’s a joke in a half! You can’t plan; don’t even try! We were not in the driver’s seat… AT ALL! We had no control over the timing or the situation. We just had to sit back and let it happen.
We tried to live our lives like normal. Take vacations, go on dates, and be a “couple” without kids. The holidays came and went, and that time was so hard. We found ourselves daydreaming, and imagining what future holidays may look like. Again, not having control over the situation was hard.
We had told ourselves that if we didn’t have any activity in six months we were going to open up to more situations. When that time came to open up, something just didn’t feel right. We didn’t feel like it was the right time to change things up. We then said we would reevaluate things at our one-year mark. We researched all the possibilities of what could happen with a child born dependent on substances. We researched drug use during pregnancy, and everything that goes along with it, trying to cover all our bases.
I remember Diane, our social worker, saying to us that generally there are two kinds of waits. Some couples have a lot of activity, and a lot of disruptions. Other couples have absolutely no activity then all of a sudden a match and a placement.
Well, that was us! We had complete radio silence.
On May 2ndwe had a scheduled call with Diane, to talk about our homework for that month and the first words out of her mouth were “Have you heard from Leah yet?” My jaw hit the steering wheel (I was sitting in my car) and my eyes instantly welled up with tears of joy.
The first part of what Diane was telling us went in one ear and out the other. I was in such shock! Shock that we had a lead, disbelief that Diane was the one giving us the news and not one of the coordinators, and complete dismay at the timing. Only twelve hours before getting the news, Chris’s Grandmother passed away. We got news when we least expected to hear what we’d been dreaming of.
The best part, we only had to wait a few weeks for delivery, the expectant mom was due any day. In the matter of 20 minutes, our lives changed forever, getting the lead that we had dreamt of. An expectant mother had chosen us because we were active and outdoor lovers, and because of our dogs.
We met with her the next week in her hometown and instantly had a great connection. About an hour later Leah called us to say “E” wanted to “lock in” with us!! We were so excited. She was everything we hoped for in an expectant mother. We loved her already! We began to text, and get to know each other. Three short weeks later, we got the text message that changed our lives forever. Our little dude was on the way.
To make a long story short, we have a beautiful adoption story that took some unexpected turns but we got the child we were meant to raise.
Every hopeful adoptive parent has an idea in their mind of what they want their ‘story’ to look like, and how they think it will go. Well, I’m telling you to just throw what you think will happen out the window and buckle up, because your expectations will be rocked HARD and it will be more beautiful than you’d ever expect.
Looking back on how everything played out, God had this whole thing planned. He had it planned from the very moment we signed on with ASC, to the moment “E” chose us to parent her baby. He taught us how to be patient in a VERY trying time. He taught us that great things happen when they aren’t planned, and he taught us how to ‘roll’ with things as they come. He blessed us with the greatest blessing possible; our son.
We are so honored that “E” chose us. She is truly one of the strongest woman we have ever had the pleasure to meet.