| birth mom

Dads—You Matter!

Check out the self-help section of any bookstore. It’s likely that you will find many of these books divided by gender. Maybe this all began with Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus back in 1992. Maybe it’s biology, maybe it’s society, or maybe it’s none of these things. But when it comes to … more »

The Home Study- What, When and Why

What do you think of when you hear the words “home study?” What is your picture of the person who comes to your house to complete a “home study?” The home study process can be anxiety producing, particularly if you picture a social worker from the 1960s wearing orthopedic shoes and reading glasses. Home studies … more »

Celebrating Birth Families

Where’s the joy? Where’s the excitement? When a new baby comes home, the baby is welcomed with banners, balloons, visitors, and gifts. In adoption, the adoptive family is swamped with people wanting to visit, hold the new baby and offer congratulations. But when a woman who has placed her baby for adoption returns home from … more »

Rights and Responsibilities for Expectant Mothers

So many times in adoption, all the focus is on the adopting parents. People share their infertility stories or their faith commitment on social media and with friends and families. Women experiencing an unexpected pregnancy are seen as simply the way for the adopting parents to get their baby. It’s hard to get in the … more »

Building the Relationship & Learning to Listen

Since it can’t be said often enough, we will say it again. Open adoption is a relationship. A key to making any relationship go the distance is communication. The typically overlooked part of communication that sometimes needs tweaking is listening. When conversations get tense, the go to mental response is usually defense. While the other … more »

The Math of Relationships

Relationships. Are good relationships a math equation? When both sides give 50 percent effort to making the relationship work, it must be a good relationship because 50 + 50 = 100. Oh, just meet me halfway! That’s all I’m asking of you, right? Realistically…good relationships are not math equations. Why not? There are simply too many variables. Time, energy, control, desire, needs, … more »

Priorities: Getting Out What You Put In

What are the key ingredients to making an open adoption actually be an open adoption? Aren’t open adoptions just open because birth parents and adoptive parents agree that the relationship is an open one, share phone numbers and have an occasional visit? Let’s return to the basics. It’s often been said that open adoption is … more »

40 Weeks and a Circle of Support

Everyone knows that pregnancy lasts for nine months. It’s divided into three trimesters, each with three months in it. Everyone knows that pregnancy lasts for nine months. Unless you’re pregnant and waiting to deliver. Then you remember it’s forty weeks from conception to delivery. And if the due date for the blessed event is set … more »

What do you think when you hear the word adoption?

Adoption is one of those topics that everyone—yes, everyone—seems to have an opinion and story to share. There are the people who know and want to share adoption horror stories. You’ve probably heard the stories of expectant parents who scam desperate couples out of tens thousands of dollars. Or the stories of adoptees who become … more »

Words Matter: Telling Your Child’s Story

As a society, we tend to throw around words that then become labels. Words serve as codes and conjure pictures in our minds. These pictures then shape our attitudes. Attitudes become beliefs. And these beliefs are what we pass on to our children. Here at ASC we have long advocated for the use of positive … more »