| unexpected pregnancy

An Adoptive Parent’s Journey to Becoming a Lifelong Learner: 10 Tips/Tricks for finding, consuming and engaging with adoption education and content

Becoming a parent through adoption means embracing a unique, complex, sacred type of parenthood. It’s an additional, specific identity as a parent. We’d argue this isn’t an innate skillset. It takes ongoing, lifelong education and support so you can be best prepared to support your child with the part of their identity that is being … more »

A perfect day to say Thank You…

Let me set the scene. I was very pregnant. Probably 7-8 months. I was starting to experience some swelling and water retention, pre eclamptic. Likely not feeling the best. Hormonal. Uncomfortable. Testy. Our ASC team was at our weekly staff meeting. I can’t remember exactly what we were discussing. And really, the specifics don’t matter. … more »

Search and Reunion Three Part Series: Introduction

For many decades, adoptions were closed. Birth and adoptive families were not really given the option of an open adoption, or an open adoption beyond a basic simple “contract” of letters sent for an initial few years. This left grown adoptees to search for their birth family in their early adult years. Their curiosity and … more »

BIRTHDAYS

You have this glorious child through adoption – this gift. You want to give them everything – love, family connection, a good education, fun vacations, and generous holidays and birthdays. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that is what they want from you at all… For instance, birthdays. When my daughter was turning about nine or … more »

Grit

Sometimes I want to walk away. Why don’t I? Yes, why don’t I? This is the argument I have with myself. Especially as the days go on, in this industry and I feel the back of my legs ache as I have been fighting uphill for 20 years. Nothing, I mean nothing has been easy. … more »

Sisters and Brothers

As an adoption professional with two children who joined my family through adoption, I would often try to get their perspective and views on things. On one such occasion, I asked my oldest, blonde haired, hazel-eyed daughter her views on the wisdom and advisability of a white family adopting a second black child. My daughter … more »

Why Adoption?

Ever heard the expression “I can’t see the forest for the trees?” Sometimes working in the field of adoption, this expression comes to mind, and I start to feel a little overwhelmed. Adoption is a tough way to make a living. The emotions of everyone involved generally run high. Prospective adoptive parents who may still … more »

Unpredictability

Have you ever thought much about the expression “it’s time to rattle someone’s cage?” I have to confess, I hadn’t either. Then I came across the expression in the context of an experiment involving rats in cages. As it turns out, when a rat’s cage is rattled without warning or in a manner that is … more »

Shame has no place in adoption.

Shame is hot right now. And by hot, I mean trending. Social worker/author/speaker Brene Brown has made shame a trending topic. From her TED talk to her Oprah featured best-sellers to her Netflix special, Brown is tackling the subject fearlessly. Adoption is no stranger to the concept of shame. Historically, adoption thrived on shame. There … more »

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same!

It’s time to say “thank you.” Thank you to everyone who wished me well as the news of my 20thanniversary was posted on social media in June. Thank you to all the families who have allowed me into their homes as I asked oh so many personal questions. Thank you to all the families who … more »