Do you provide options counseling?
Answer: You should receive assistance and support looking at all your options including those outside of adoption. These might include but not be limited to:
-Temporary or permanent guardianship with a family member or friend
-Placing your baby for adoption with a family member or friend
-Safe Families for temporary care
-Birth father and/or his family aiding in parenting
-Parenting: You should receive support locating the parenting resources in your community!
Is adoption a permanent decision?
The simple answer: Yes, in the State of Indiana, it is. If you change your mind after signing consents, while there is a 15-day revocation period, baby is not automatically returned to you. It becomes a legal process and there are no guarantees. Thus, you need to fully understand this lifelong, permanent decision prior to signing adoption consents. Consents can only be signed after the birth of your baby, NOT during pregnancy.
Do I have to sign at the hospital after delivery?
Answer: No. You should only sign when you are ready and confident in your decision to proceed. This might be at the hospital, or it might mean taking your baby home for a few days/weeks/months, giving parenting a try, and then later deciding you are ready to proceed with an adoption. Do not let anyone pressure you into signing at the hospital or before you are ready.
Can I receive financial assistance while considering adoption?
Answer: In the state of Indiana, you can receive up to $4,000 in living expense money to cover such expenses as rent, utilities, food, clothing and lost wages. Without a judge’s prior approval, it is illegal for anyone to offer or you to accept more than the allotted $4,000. This money can be dispersed starting in the second trimester of pregnancy and up to 6 weeks following birth. If you receive financial assistance during pregnancy and ultimately choose to parent, either during pregnancy or after birth, you are not required to pay back any money already received, nor should anyone ask or expect you to!
Will I be offered separate legal representation as I consider adoption?
Answer: Yes, you should be provided separate legal representation from the
prospective adoptive family at no cost to you.
Will I receive comprehensive information/education about adoption and the potential lifelong impacts for me and my child including the trauma, grief and loss?
Answer: You should receive accurate, honest information about adoption. Adoption is an incredibly difficult decision and a complex path to walk. While there is love and a broader definition of family in adoption, there is also trauma, grief and loss. You matter to your baby and they will experience a loss being separated from you. This doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad decision or you are a bad parent for choosing this option for them, it means you need to be informed about the entirety of adoption and how both you and the adoptive parents you choose can be involved in the lifelong journey of grieving and healing for all involved.
Can I choose the adoptive family for my baby?
Answer: Yes, you should be allowed to choose the adoptive family! They should have a home study completed by a licensed child placing agency in the state in which they reside. They should be thoroughly assessed/screened to ensure health/stability/safety for your child. They should also receive comprehensive, quality adoption education to prepare them for navigating this specific, unique, sacred type of parenting.
Can I choose an open adoption?
Answer: Yes, you can! However, you need to be informed, in the state of Indiana, when you place a child under two years old, any agreements for ongoing contact/relationship with the adoptive family and your child is a moral obligation not a legal one. Agreements are not legally enforceable. Thus, why is it so important you choose an adoptive family who has been well educated by their adoption professional on the importance of open adoption, especially for the child, and how to navigate the complexities of these lifelong relationships.
What does the hospital look like? Can I see my baby? Who will be there with me?
Answer: You get to decide what the hospital stay looks like, how much time you spend with your baby and who will be there with you. You should be encouraged (not pressured) to spend time with your baby, as much time as you want. You should NOT be pressured to have the adoptive family at the hospital if that does not feel right to you and you want the time and space to make this decision without their presence. You get to build your support team, whether that’s birth father, family, friends and possibly adoptive family, too. Your adoption profession might be present at some point at your request, however, they should not be hovering or pressuring you towards adoption in any way.
If I ultimately choose adoption, will I be offered free, lifelong post placement support as I navigate grieving and healing?
Answer: Yes, you should receive quality, adoption-competent care and support. This
includes free, lifelong access to counseling and support groups.