| adoption grief

Shame has no place in adoption.

Shame is hot right now. And by hot, I mean trending. Social worker/author/speaker Brene Brown has made shame a trending topic. From her TED talk to her Oprah featured best-sellers to her Netflix special, Brown is tackling the subject fearlessly. Adoption is no stranger to the concept of shame. Historically, adoption thrived on shame. There … more »

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same!

It’s time to say “thank you.” Thank you to everyone who wished me well as the news of my 20thanniversary was posted on social media in June. Thank you to all the families who have allowed me into their homes as I asked oh so many personal questions. Thank you to all the families who … more »

Our Wait…

As I sit here typing this in the Notes on my phone, with my son (OMG I have a SON!) who is asleep on my chest; and it’s just been two weeks since we’ve met him! I know there are a million and one things I should be doing, but in this moment time can stand still, … more »

A Birth Mom’s Perspective on Adoption

As I sit here and think about adoption, we birth moms preach on the amazing gift that we give. We place our child(ren) with families that can do more for them than what we ever could. We all have our reasons as to why we place our little ones, and we are all so grateful … more »

The Two Tattoos…

Sitting across the table from a young woman who recently placed her infant son with an adoptive family, I noticed a tattoo on her inner wrist. “Tell me about that tattoo,” I asked. I was already amazed by her strength and composure. For someone who was deep in the throes of grief and sharing a … more »

Come to Find Out…

Have you ever had a conversation with someone in which you start that conversation completely at a loss? It’s like the other person has been talking to you for over an hour, but in reality you have barely gotten past the hellos. The fact is, none of us exist in a vacuum. We are surrounded … more »

Biographers Day

Today is Biographers Day. Yes, for those of you keeping track of obscure reasons to celebrate, May 16 is the day on which “commemorates the anniversary of the first meeting of Samuel Johnson and his biographer James Boswell in London, England on May 16, 1763, and honors all biographers.” So why on earth is an … more »

Celebrate the Love

Sunday is Mother’s Day, the day of honoring and appreciating the women in our lives. It’s the day of honoring those who nurture, encourage, and love us unconditionally. As a society we show this appreciation with gifts—jewelry, flowers, spa services, and meals in nice restaurants. Typically a greeting card comes along with those gifts, or … more »

Grief and When

Personal losses bring grief. Adoption is packed with losses, whether it is infertility grief for a biological child that will never be, or the obvious grief for letting a child go to another family. Along with the grief comes the question of “when.” When? When will I be better? When will I stop hurting? When … more »

Siblings are Important in Adoption!

“Even though my baby sister is going to be adopted, can I still talk with her as she gets older? You know, give her good big brother advice?” Amanda here. This was said by a young man about my son’s age as I sat next to him and his mother. His mother was making an … more »