| Expectant Moms

OLD Acronym Is Slow to DIE

On hospital white boards around the country and deep within adoptee files is the acronym BUFA. “Baby Up For Adoption” This acronym is used to describe a patient who is seeking medical care and is considering adoption. In the patient’s pre-natal medical records, it’s listed where you would put a “complication”, where it says she has high blood pressure or her family history of diabetes, or AMA “Advanced Maternal Age.” When mom is admitted onto the labor floor, “BUFA” is listed next to her name on the active labor board. When a medical provider comes to take care … more »

When you know better.

It’s 1999 and a 23-year-old woman was considering placing her baby for adoption. She was a single mom of two and had her mother’s support to consider adoption. She and her mother were looking at profiles but kept saying the same thing, “nothing clicked”. The adoption coordinator at that time, according to her notes suggested … more »

Let’s Get Uncomfortable!

I hear this phrase at the gym and I find it difficult to get out of my comfort zone. After work, the last thing I want to do is get my heart rate up and sweat. I give a dirty look to the coach but I keep working till my heart rate goes up and … more »

Adoption Language

Language in adoption is constantly changing. And, it varies greatly. Until recently, we had been using the concept of “positive” adoption language. Once we started listening closely and more attentively to birth parents and adoptees, we know there is a problem with referring to adoption language as “positive.” While we and others in the field … more »

A perfect day to say Thank You…

Let me set the scene. I was very pregnant. Probably 7-8 months. I was starting to experience some swelling and water retention, pre eclamptic. Likely not feeling the best. Hormonal. Uncomfortable. Testy. Our ASC team was at our weekly staff meeting. I can’t remember exactly what we were discussing. And really, the specifics don’t matter. … more »

“He Has Never Asked”

After 22 years and 100’s of adoptions, they are coming back for answers. I started leading ASC’s post placement team in January this year. Once I dug in, I realized how much of a need there is. We have only just began to scratch the surface of my dreams for this project. I believe this … more »

“Now is not a good time”

Arguably, the most important work we are doing right now at ASC is post placement care. We’ve spent the last couple of years developing our post placement program and then continually changing and adding to it as we learn more. It’s a work in progress. Currently, it consists of a dedicated day each week, a … more »

Grief, my hidden treasure.

This Saturday is my dad’s birthday (May 30th). He’d be 65 years old if he were still here. He died suddenly, unexpectedly when I was only 3 years old. I’ve often felt I didn’t have a right to grieve the loss of my father, Owen. When I shared parts of my story or someone would … more »

COVID Statement

Dear Friends~ Everyone on staff at the Adoption Support Center is anxious to get back into the agency to collaborate and support all families in the adoption journey. As this is an evolving situation, we continue to monitor this situation in real-time to ensure the proper precautions are being taken so everyone feels safe. Since … more »

Commitment

This sweet family’s picture slid into my email at the end of last week. They were reaching out to share a photo from the recent virtual adoption finalization of their son. As an agency, we haven’t been sharing “finalization” photos much lately. As I looked at this beautiful family woven together through adoption, and thought … more »