Considering adoption is a big decision. It’s a permanent, lifelong decision. There are a lot of options out there as you consider adoption. Maybe you’ve found an adoptive family on your own. Maybe you’re working with an agency or attorney – or still looking for professional support. It’s important to make sure you have the facts and are well informed. Below you’ll find (as a minimum) 10 things you should expect from any adoption professional or adoptive family you are working with! You matter; don’t accept anything less!
1. You should be informed adoption is a lifelong, permanent decision. In the state of Indiana, once you sign adoption consents, it’s not simple to change your mind and get your baby back. While you legally have 15 days to revoke your consent, your baby is not automatically returned to you. It becomes a legal process and there are no guarantees. You are responsible for retaining your own attorney at that point. You cannot legally sign adoption consents relinquishing your parental rights during your pregnancy, only after your baby is born.
2. You should be encouraged to explore all of your options before making this permanent decision. This might include but not be limited to: temporary or permanent guardianship with a family member or friend, placing your baby for adoption with a family member or friend, utilizing safe families for temporary care AND parenting. You should receive support in locating parenting resources in your community.
3. You should NOT be pressured to sign at the hospital. Some women choose to complete their adoption plan after birth and prior to discharge from the hospital. Others take their baby home for days/weeks/months and later decide to proceed with an adoption. Your baby does not have to be a newborn to consider or choose adoption for them. Do not let anyone pressure you into signing before you are ready.
4. In the state of Indiana, you can receive up to $4,000 in living expense funds as you consider and/or choose adoption. If you decide not to proceed with your adoption plan, you should NOT be asked or expected to pay back any money already received.
5. You should be offered and encouraged to have separate legal representation from the prospective adoptive family at no cost to you.
6. You should receive comprehensive information/education about adoption including the potential lifelong impacts for you and your child. While there is love and a broader definition of family in adoption, there is also trauma, grief and loss. You matter to your baby and they will experience a loss being separated from you. This doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad decision or you are a bad parent for considering/choosing this option for them; it means you need to be informed about the entirety of adoption and how both you and the adoptive parents you choose can be involved in the lifelong journey of grieving and healing for all involved.
7. You should be allowed to choose the prospective adoptive family for your baby! They should have a valid home study in the state in which they live and should have received quality education regarding becoming a parent through adoption.
8. You should be allowed to choose an open adoption AND you should be informed (in the state of Indiana) open adoption is a moral obligation not a legal one on behalf of the adoptive parents. Thus, the adoptive parents you choose should be well educated and supported on the importance of open adoption and how to navigate the complexities of these important relationships.
9. You should be encouraged to spend time with your baby, as much as you want, after their birth. You should NOT be pressured to have the prospective adoptive family at the hospital with you if that does not feel right to you and you want time and space to make this decision without their presence.
10. If you ultimately choose adoption, you should be provided free, lifetime adoption competent counseling and support groups.
If you are considering adoption for your baby/child, you probably have questions. We have answers and can provide support and resources as you look at your options. Shoot us a message or give us a call today!