When we finally read these words in an e-mail we knew that everything was becoming very real. We had been waiting months to get to this day. The countless hours of paperwork to go along with all the appointments and numerous ASC meetings had all led up to this point.
We felt like activation day was kind of like the starting line to our adoption story.
We couldn’t wait to reach these milestones; activation day, getting matched, meeting an Expectant Mother, and then signing day, but knew with each milestone would come a ton of emotions and realization that things could change in a moment’s notice.
After the very first meeting with ASC we knew the biggest thing we would have do is be patient, and neither of us are great at that. Talking with other adoptive parents that we knew and had met during our ASC meetings we knew that it could take several months or even over a year before we would get selected by a potential Expectant Mother. We just continuously prayed and held on to faith that our future Birth Mother could be looking at our profile at any second.
Our prayers were answered very quickly.
It only took a week before we received the call that we had been picked and an Expectant Mother wanted to meet us. The level of excitement and joy we had during and after that call is indescribable. We had prayed for this woman and baby for so long and our prayers were finally being answered. With that phone call we had reached our next milestone.
Sitting in the waiting area of the restaurant waiting to see/meet this Expectant Mother for the very first time we were filled with a very nervous but calm feeling. The kind that you usually feel before a job interview you really want or before the start of a big game. We had months of education and training that had prepared us for this moment but the nervousness was still there.
Then this beautiful tiny woman walked through the door and flashed this big smile and it kind of put everything at ease. We instantly saw how strong and confident she was and we knew that our part in all of this was easy. We just had to show up but this woman was thinking about making the ultimate sacrifice. She was doing something so selfless that we would never be able to fully understand her feelings and emotions that she was going through. All we knew is that we were and still are truly thankful for her.
The feelings we felt when saw ‘MATCHED’ in big orange letters on the ASC website were 100 times better than the activation e-mail.
We had 3 months before a beautiful baby girl would make her entrance into the world and we were excited to be able to spend those months getting to know not only this Expectant Mother better but also the Expectant Father. We knew a lot of adoptive families don’t get the chance to know the Expectant Father so we felt truly blessed that we were lucky enough to know him.
During those 3 months we really learned how strong and amazing people they both are. We quickly stopped seeing them just as this couple who might possibly give us the most selfless gift ever but as family. Up to this point everything had gone the way that we had wanted but the realization that they could decide to parent was always in the back of our mind. Trying to keep our emotions in check was by far the hardest part during this time. We tried not to get too excited or buy a bunch of stuff before everything was finalized.
Coming up with a plan for what we would do if they decided to parent was extremely hard but we both knew that it had to be done. Being prepared for every situation that might occur even though it was very hard was very necessary. With all the different emotions you really need someone strong to lean on and that’s where your spouse comes into play. There were a lot of days when one of us would be up and positive but the other would be a bit negative. On these days is when we really needed each other but we always knew that no matter what we would get the baby we were meant to have.
After a long 3 months we finally got the phone call that we had been waiting for.
Our Expectant Mother’s water had broken and this beautiful baby was going to make her entrance into the world.
Being at the hospital was a stressful but exciting time. Can’t really put into words how lucky we felt that we got to share those 4 days with her Birth Parents and we all got to experience the whole thing together. The hard part about the whole thing was knowing that this beautiful baby girl was not really ours until everything had been signed. We just had to remember that no matter what happened we were supposed to be at that hospital for a reason. Whether that reason was to become the adoptive parents of this new baby or to just be there and support her amazing Birth Parents.
It was very difficult to keep all emotions in check and not get too high or too low. As soon as we saw this beautiful baby girl we were instantly in love with her but again the realization that this whole thing might not work out the way we had planned is still in the back of our mind. We leaned on each other and prayer to help really get us through everything. As rough and exhausting as those 4 days were I wouldn’t trade them for the world. We really got to bond even more with her Birth Parents and got to know them on a more intimate level. Those days in the hospital we really grew into a big family and when they decided to sign and make us the adoptive parents of their baby girl it just sealed the deal that we would be a big happy family for life.
Watching our Birth Parents walk down the hallway out of the hospital after signing was by far the hardest and most emotional time for us.
We had been through so much the past 3 months and especially the past 4 days but nothing ASC could have done really prepared us for that moment. I wish there was a perfect way to describe that moment but there is not. We were so happy that we finally had a baby and our family had grown but we were so sad and heartbroken for her Birth Parents. That moment was by far the roughest.
Getting in the car and heading home is when everything really hit us. We were going home with a baby!
We also knew that we had to start telling her immediately how amazing her birth story is and how amazing her Birth Parents are.
Open adoption is such a terrific thing and we feel blessed that her Birth Parents want to stay in her life and continue to see her and be updated on her. Every Sunday when we check in with them feels like a family reunion. We share pictures and stories and learn new things to tell our sweet baby girl about them.
Adoption is a continuous education not only for us and how we can make ourselves the best adoptive parents possible but also how we educate everybody around us. We are so excited to watch our daughter grow and to tell her how amazing she is and how unique her story is. We watch her now with her facial expressions and we look at each other and say that’s the same look her Birth Mother makes. Adoption is a beautiful thing and we are so blessed to be party of the adoption community.
We had finally got through everything and now we wake up every morning thanking the Lord for our beautiful daughter and her amazing Birth Parents.
